For my undergraduate degree, I chose to study Classical Archaeology.  I was born over seas and spent much of my childhood traveling to places like Egypt, Italy and Western Europe.  My passion for archaeology began after my first visit to Egypt when I was 12.  During my time in college, I took a number of classes relating to Roman, Greek and Egyptian archaeology as well as anthropology classes, including forensic and physical anthropology.  I participated in two archaeological digs in Italy.  I had a particular interest in funerary rights, burials and votive offerings to the religious deities.

Beyond my personal interest in these fields of archaeology, I have not had much personal experience with death or funeral practices.  My childhood pet of 10 years died just after I graduated from high school and a close friend died of accidental causes when I was 16.  Those were two very difficult times in my life, as well as my friends and family.  The support I was able to provide to my friends and family members at those two times in my life was very fulfilling.  I participated in a number of community service projects in high school and college and it was through those activities that I learned that I love to help people, especially in their time of need.   

My experience in dealing with a death of a loved one goes back to Dec 25, 1999, it started with loosing My husband to a heart attack, as I had nothing to do with his funeral arrangements it helped me to be able to handle what was to come next...

   See the following year my brother fell ill with pneumonia and since my mother was in a wheel chair and unable to care for him, it was up to me to step in and help my mother, I took care of him for four months before loosing him to this illness, well needless to say my mother was having a hard time dealing with it being that his last breath was taken with her and I by his side.  I in turn took over and made all arrangements for the funeral, including choosing the casket, thus knowing first hand how difficult it is and what patience it took on behalf of the funeral counselor, she was calm and understanding with me. 

   After burying my brother, my mother only got worse with her blood pressure and diabetes, and again it was I who helped take care of her, they had to go in and insert balloons to expand her veins 3 times in order to help her blood circulation...she did good the first 2 times but after the third time her heart was weak, she did not come out of the surgery as they had expected, and they put her on the life support system.  The doctor came to us and informed us that she would not live past an hour even on the machine and we were to make a decision very quickly on leaving her on this life support or not, it was up to me to talk to my 5 brothers and a sister into letting her go.  See she had told me in the hospital when with my brother that she did not want him on life support suffering needlessly, just like she would not like it if it were her there and made me promise if that happened to her that I would help in convincing the rest of my siblings that it was not for her.  So needless to say I had to tell the story to my family so that they understood it. Again not one of My brothers nor my sister stepped in to help with funeral arrangements thus leaving me to handle it again.   Yes, I was upset but I knew that if I didn't do it, it would not get done and only cause friction among the family, again I went with the funeral director that helped with my brother, and somehow found my self thinking that I would one day love to be able to help people in this situation as calmly as she had been with me.

   I got my chance in a way when working with "The American Heart Association", although I was only a temp there I dealt with people devastated with the news of their loved ones becoming ill with this terrible heart decease and was able to talk calmly to them when informing them of the help that we offer and the right people to contact to help them better understand the decease and how they can help the family/friend in need of assistance.

   I pride myself in being a people person and thanks to the events in my life I have come to understand that it is Us the people helping, that need to be the most patient and calm in order to help those needing our help in dealing and/or coping with what the need may be. 

I was 18 years old, my dad, he was only 49. For years we knew that Dad had high cholesterol and some difficulties with with his heart, but I didn't know it was that bad. I still remember my boss coming to me at Baker's Square, telling me that my brother was coming to see me, and it was OK for me to leave with him (in the middle of my shift).

All I could think was GREAT, what has he done now. We got in his car without saying much, his girl friend at the time was in the passenger seat, and we drove off. As we sat quietly, I asked where we were going, and Dave said Mather Air Force Base (a very strange answer). He was choking up, and finally said, Dad died. Dad had gone there to play golf with some friends, and he had a massive heart attack on the golf course. He died before even getting to the hospital. I sat quietly, in shock and disbelief. A few minuets later, we arrived at the hospital.

Mom and my sister were already there, and we were given the chance to go in and see my Dad. He was pale, his teeth showed and he had a little smile on his face. But you could tell, it wasn't my Dad any more. He was gone ... this was just his body. Its funny, its been over 20 years, and even as I write this, my eyes are tearing up and I have a huge lump in my throat. I still miss him, and can't wait to see him in Heaven, but I've learned to live without him. I used to think about him every day, but over the years, I've learned to live without his smile, his support and his encouragement. If you're facing something like this.

You lost a wife, a child, a friend ... or a parent ... I can say, the process sucks. It hurts like hell ... but it gets better. The sorrow for your loss (over time) subsides, and the good memories rise to the top. The feeling that's left when you think about that person is joy and thankfulness for the time you were given. If you're in the early part of the process, this doesn't sound like much, but know others have been there, they are there, and more will experience this ... and we will all survive. You will too. I'm sorry for your loss. God Bless.